I have a tendency to detach from life; to wander along through my days, day after day, without associating or attaching to emotions, events and people. The problem arises when I try to connect or commit to anything in specific. I start off like a firecracker, with immense speed and velocity, blow up in a burst of light and color, then fizzle down into nothingness as the black starts to creep in again.

With all the past happenings in Egypt, I’m trying to find my way; my path in life, what I’m destined to do. The thought that I am meant for a mediocre life eats at me like cancer. Yet I cannot find a foothold, a place where I am meant to contribute, make a difference so I start to detach again and the cycle begins.

I did take some form of initiative last weekend by attending the Eid Wahda/Youth for development call for committees meeting. Their mission is to ‘establish the Egyptian people as a major force in the decisions made by government officials. ~To become responsible and accountable for a better Egypt, we need to educate ourselves and research in order to be well informed and involved in decision making. We need to become active to insure a great future and commit to responsibilities as citizens. ~We believe that people should become involved in the following (committees):
1. Cultural Focus
2. Economic Development and Support
3. Educational Development
4. Environment Preservation and Development
5. Establishing Tahrir Square as the Birth Place for the Youth Movement
6. Health Care Increase
7. Human Rights Initiative
8. Political Awareness
9. Transportation and Traffic Amends
10. Tourism Encouragement
11. Establishment of Free Media’

After reading about them on Facebook I felt that maybe I had found the light at the end of the tunnel. They seemed like people who were thinking on the right track and as such I attended their first meeting undecided whether I should join the Cultural or Educational Committee.

Walking into the meeting was like walking into Souq El Gomaa; crowded, loud and total chaos. The founders of the group were practicing pure democracy and letting each committee, gather on its own and coordinate everything internally. Lost I wandered between the Cultural and Educational Committee trying to figure my niche and decided I should ask one of the established volunteers in the Cultural what this Committee was all about. After telling me we want to culturally educate the masses with the values and beliefs of the Revolution, I was hooked and eagerly signed my name up. But half an hour later sitting in their brainstorming session, I started regretting my decision. The group talking was a diverse range of youth from college students, political activists, bloggers, acting coaches to hip hop singers. Their intentions were good, the spirit was high but they lacked direction and planning. One person thought we needed to focus on orphanages, another said we need to do poetry workshops. Everyone had a different opinion but they were all in agreement that we don’t need to define our values or beliefs because they were pretty obvious and everyone knew them. What we needed to do was act and act now. Now call it the architect in me or the skeptical or whatever you want, but I believe that there is no such thing called ‘act and act now’ without a plan showing where you’re heading and what you’re doing. And that is where they lost me; with the realization that Egyptians will always lack in strategic and long term planning.

And so I quietly walked away and signed my name up in the Educational Committee.

For more information on Eed Wa7da check their Facebook group or page.