I have an anniversary coming up at the end of the month. Not the wedding anniversary, but a first date anniversary. On Friday, November 23rd me and my husband would have been together for 14 years! Although it was a very bumpy ride (especially at the beginning) and there were times when it was an on-and-off relationship, I still can’t believe that we’ve been together that long. We have survived 4.5 years of dating, 18 months engaged, 8 years of marriage and 6 years of kids. When we first started dating, one of my biggest fears was that I would get bored of the relationship and I would be stuck in it forever.
You see, growing up in a house with parents who were at each others throats all the time but still stayed together because they wanted what was best for their kids and still loved each other had made me very skeptical of the institution of marriage. I didn’t want to get married. I did not want a man ruining my life. And I especially did not want to be in a relationship just because it was easier then being without one. I knew that ‘love’ was just not enough. And so running away from my parents mistakes and fears actually gave me a brand new phobia. I was so scared of being in a failed marriage or being in love that I would willingly give up any relationship before it got to that point. I either wanted an amazing marriage/relationship or none at all.
And so I am extremely thankful that my husband is here beside me at this moment. He survived fear of boredom, fear of failure and fear of being the couple who were in-it-for-the-kids. He stuck it out and is still standing beside me. I guess I really lucked out when we got together. That I found someone to be there for me and perfectly understand my quirkiness and craziness is an amazing thing (and believe me I have a lot of quirks and crazy). But that I also found someone who I can love and still loves me just as much as we started 14 years ago. He can see my fear of emotions and inability to show them, my restlessness and in distractedness, my mood swings and rebellious nature and not only look past them but love me for them.
I have lucked out. I look around me and there is no other marriage or couple I would willingly trade places with. I have friends who tell me, they wish they had our relationship. Heck I have friends who tell me that not everyone is like my husband, and as much as it annoys me that my friends think that I bring nothing to my successful marriage, I still know that he is one in a million.
When I read this week’s writing challenge “Tell us about a moment in time when your life was changed in a split second”, I kept on looking for a moment when everything changed for me. I was skeptical that I could even find one. After all, life is not a result of one split second moment, it is a combination of a thousand of these moments stuck together leading us to where we currently stand in space and time. My husband told me to write about when I had Adam for that was a major life changer. But then I realized that most of the good moments in my life could whisper down to one moment 14 years ago; when on November 21, 2008 I admitted to the shy young man in front of me that I have feelings for him and then promptly closed the elevator door in his face.
So in light of this week’s challenge, next week’s anniversary and the fact that my husband gave me the chance to choose between a new Mac Book or jewelry for my anniversary gift, I dedicate this blog to the amazing man I married.
And since I’m having a hard time choosing between the new MacBook or the something sparkly, I am welcome to all suggestions and advice on that topic. In short, help me decide!
Our life in instants: