A extremely insightful and heart-wrenching blog. I can totally relate. Although not bipolar, living with chronic depression, I sometimes get to the same place this blogger is at. The only difference is that suicide is not an option. And for that I thank my faith.
I’m extremely moved and in awe with this person’s courage but I won’t be following him; this cuts too close to home.
I decided I didn’t want to live.
Things have been bad for a long time now. My depression isn’t getting any better in spite of all the things I’ve been trying to do and all the changes in medications. It’s been almost impossible to work. I’ve complained for a while that there isn’t enough work to do to stay busy, but things finally picked up a couple of weeks ago. But being so depressed it’s been all I can do to keep up with the bare minimum. I just have no motivation and no energy. I spend my day staring at the computer screen or out the window, waiting until it’s finally time to go home. But it isn’t any better there. As soon as I’m home I just wander around from room to room, checking email for the 100th time and watching reruns of shows I’ve recorded. I…
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